Sunday, April 19, 2009

My Beloved Dusty

I've been having a really hard time getting

motivated to do much of anything lately...

even going to the stable to spend time

with the one thing i am most passionate about

my beloved Copperpony DUSTY...

as i sit here tonight and write this

tears fall from my eyes because i

i feel like i have been avoiding spending time

with him...and i don't know why

i worry and fear i won't be able to keep him in this

tough economy...

but staying away isn't going to make it better

or take my fears away

i guess it's okay to take a break from the things

you love

but i beat myself up with guilt

video

this video shows me how much i love this guy

i love his power

his beauty, his strength

his breath breathing on me

i love him with all my heart and soul...

as i turn the page to todays devotional

i believe things happen for a reason...

I am convinced that God has built into all of us an

appreciation of beauty and has even allowed us to

participate in the creation of beautiful things and

places. It may be one way God brings healing to

our brokenness, and a way that we can contribute

toward bringing wholeness to our fallen world.

Mary Jan Worden

i believe DUSTY entered into my life for a reason

life does not always serve us what we want

on a silver platter, but the fact that we get served

anything at all is reason enough for me to

nurture a grateful heart and expect even

greater things in the future...

Copperpony brings me such joy...

i just need to find it again!~

Dusty Devoe

17 comments:

Leah Fry said...

I understand. Sometimes I do the same thing, though it may have to do with riding than spending time. Sometimes I avoid riding, and then I feel guilty for not riding as much as I can or should. I have decided it's OK to feel that way, but not OK to use it as an excuse not to spend time with them, even if it's just hanging out. In short, figure out what it is you're really avoiding.

The Wife said...

Oh Sweetie, sorry you're goin' thru a tough time. I hope it works out.

Amanda said...

I worry about the same thing and pray the ecomomy will pick up really really soon. It has about flattened us.

xoxo~ Meg said...

The economy has affected everyone to some degree or another. I will keep you in my prayers sweetie!

wilsonc said...

Awww...hang in there. Take it one day at a time. Your passion will return. When I get like that, and I do get like that from time to time, I make myself go to the barn. I might not ride. I might just give him a pat and a carrot but I make myself go. It works itself out. Things get back to feeling good again. It just takes time.

Desert Rose said...

Sissy it breaks my heart that you are having such a hard time right now. Please do not worry about loosing Dusty, you won't!!! You have so many changes going on in your life it must be hard to find solid ground to stand on sometimes. I love you!

K. T. Sparks said...

Hang in there....things will get to be a little sunnier soon. With the economy being so wobblie it is a very unsettling time for our country and every single one of us. I have been worrying about spending too much money on our house....tends to make one not sleep at night.....and our retirement got a WHOLE lot smaller over the past few months.....


Everything will work out for you and your beautiful Dusty will be there for you and remember that a ride and fresh air helps to clear the mind and nourish the soul. Go for a ride! Don't dread what hasn't happened and I am going to wish you the very best, and that Dusty will always be a part of your family. God bless you!

Palomino Girl said...

Every horse person goes through this phase. It's okay to take a little hiatus every now and then. It makes you appreciate your barn time a lot more when you are actually there. And the horses don't deserve to feel like a chore! So I only spend time with my boys when my head and heart can be there with me, not just my body. Otherwise, it's a waste of time for both of us.

Three years ago, would you have ever thought you would be in an arena with a horse running around, and not only be comfortable, but be in love?! ;)

Mary Olson said...

In my situation, it would be easy to pull away from my horses, to prepare myself for losing one or both of them. If I followed my feelings right now, I'd hide in a closet and never come out. But instead, I tell myself I'm just going to brush one of them. Once I've gone through that work, I'm riding in no time. I hate when people say "Just take it one step at a time." But unfortunately, it's true. I hope you get out there and do the things you enjoy. It will make you feel better.

Sares said...

I think you are just in a funk. And it probably doesn't help that we've recently discovered this whole blogging thing and are a bit addicted to it right now. I think we are just having so much fun with it and learning new things and meeting new people, opening a whole new world up to us. One we don't even have to leave our living rooms to explore!
I would guess that once the weather stays nice you might get more motivated to go to the barn. Who wants to hang out in a cold, drafty old barn!Love You!

Paint Girl said...

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I do this from time to time and as soon as I get the energy to get one of the horses out I don't regret it for a second!
I believe that you will be fine and as soon as the sun comes out you will get a bounce in your step and head to the barn to see your beloved Copper Pony! Wish I could be there to ride with you! Love you! :)

Pony Girl said...

I agree with Palomino Girl. Don't go because you feel like you have to. He has great care at his barn and daily turnout, he'll be fine for a few days! Going 2 days a week instead of 5 (or whatever) won't hurt him once in a while! Also, I think it's hard because you are so trapped inside that indoor arena- you can't even see the outside. Without trails or an outdoor arena, I think you are really lacking the spark you need in your riding. Paint Girl and I got it on Sunday and it's great for the soul. Riding outdoors-looking at the grass, trees, smelling the air, feeling the sun on your back, hearing the birds...that kind of riding is a sensory experience, and right now you are just going in circles in the dirt, which can get a little dull at times. I really think that when the weather gets better this spring and you can get back in balance with trail riding, I know you'll feel better. xo!

City girl turned Country Girl said...

Well I first want to state the obvious and that is your girls obviously love you very much!!! I think that it is amazing that you care this much!! The fact that this brings tears to your eyes says that you love him with your heart and soul and he knows that!!! He can feel that when you are with him. There are many horses that don't even get a visit 1 time a week so I agree with PG it won't hurt him if you cut back for a bit and I also agree that when you get some outside riding time you will rejoice!! You will be in my prayers and just trust that you will be given the means to keep him in these hard times...

Ali said...

Oh he is just beautiful! I hope you can keep him! It can be so hard to find "that" horse. We are still looking for ours. Have 2 so far, 1 we have to sell (can't find a buyer in this economy tho!) because he is not what we need, seller totally misled hubby (Wish I had gone with him, then we wouldn't have him lol!).

Anyway, my point is, don't let anything hold you back from being with him. I would give anything to have a horse I can actually RIDE and enjoy. You are so lucky to have found your guy, even if you might end up having to find him a new home - all the more reason to spend as much time with him as you can NOW! Maybe if you make yourself be near him, he will help you feel better. Horses have this power... I will say a prayer for you!

John and Regina Zdravich said...

I have not had a chance to blog in the past few days (we had Easter on the 19th), and so I just found this post of yours. I think almost everyone feels that way at some time or another. I have been feeling guilty because I think I have been just plain lazy lately...I know I need to accomplish more, but for some reason cannot get myself motivated to do it. But your situation with your horse and feeling afraid that it may be too expensive in this economy is probably at the root of your feelings. But where there is a will, there is a way!! I believe you will find a way to make your finances "adapt" to include being able to provide for the horse. Give yourself some slack -- you will bounce back.

John and Regina Zdravich said...

I have not had a chance to blog in the past few days (we had Easter on the 19th), and so I just found this post of yours. I think almost everyone feels that way at some time or another. I have been feeling guilty because I think I have been just plain lazy lately...I know I need to accomplish more, but for some reason cannot get myself motivated to do it. But your situation with your horse and feeling afraid that it may be too expensive in this economy is probably at the root of your feelings. But where there is a will, there is a way!! I believe you will find a way to make your finances "adapt" to include being able to provide for the horse. Give yourself some slack -- you will bounce back.

Blackfeatherfarm said...

I go through those phases, it has nothing to do with how much you love your pony. I know for me it is just - ugh, I'm not in the mood to ride today, then the guilt, I beat myself up - How are you going to get better if you don't put in the work. Then I remember, I have this girl because I just love her period. If I never get on her again, it is ok, I LOVE her. It just feeds my soul when I see her. It is better to spend time with them when you want to, not because you push yourself to. Then the magic is there. I am divorced now and older at 49, so I will be working hard to keep my own girl. I will no matter what I have to do, shes not going anywhere, and I have a feeling Dusty isn't either. So hang in there, this feeling will turn around for you, and everything will be okay.